What the hell is matrescence? And why might it help to know?

Puberty - oh the memories of that awkward stage, not quite an adult but emotionally and physically stepping out of childhood. Raging hormones, messy feelings, physical changes and a new chapter of self-discovery. At least given the fact it is well recognised, both you and others around you know that you are heading into it, giving some stability and reassurance amongst the chaotic transition. 

So, reassured is exactly how I felt when I first heard the word, matrescence. A word first described in 1973 by Dana Raphael, a medical anthropologist - as the transition to motherhood. This word captures the physical, psychological, social and emotional changes women go through during the colossal transformation of becoming a mother. 

I wish it was a term I’d heard before birth, in antenatal classes or midwife visits. It finally normalised the fact there can be so, so much love and growth in this period, but also loss and change; of identity, social & intimate relationships as you knew them, independence, work, and sometimes heavy reflections on your own childhood.

Just like with adolescence, everyone's journey with matrescene is unique. But if like adolescence, this was talked about, expected and a word we were all familiar with; perhaps we wouldn’t feel the pressure and stigmatisation to just be ‘reborn’ a mother instantaneously when our baby arrives. Meaning, we would feel less isolated and more supported in our experiences and journey through motherhood. 

“When a baby is born, so is a mother, each unsteady in their own way. It’s a time for mothers to join together to share what we already know: matrescence is profound, but it’s also hard. And that’s what makes it human” Alexandra Sacks, MD.

Some great resources to find and hear more about matrescence, which I cannot recommend enough in both the journey to becoming a mother, and those already with littles:

• Alexandra Sacks, MD. Alexandra is a psychiatrist and a leading expert on women’s mental health.

• Alexandra’s brilliant TedTalk on the subject of matrescence.

• The brilliant Motherkind podcast, talking to Alexandra on matrescence experiences.